I’ll have fish and chips please

A man went into a library. He walked up to the woman at the desk and said,
“I’ll have fish and chips, please!”
The woman whispered back, “This is a library!”
“Oh…I’m sorry,” said the man. Then he added, very quietly, “I’ll have fish and chips please.”

If you’d like to get hold of my books, you’ll find details of some of them below…

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The Purple Class Stories

Published in 2010 by BBC Audiobooks

All three books in the Purple Class series now available on one set of CD’s.

“Genuine, laugh-out-loud short stories set in the modern multi-cultural classroom” ‘Achuka’

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Purple Class and the Half-Eaten Sweater

Illustrated by Helen Bate

Published in 2009 by Frances Lincoln Children's Books

More comic adventures featuring the children from Purple Class. Find out what happens to Jamal, Ivette, Zina, Shea, Jodie, Yasmin and Leon in this third book in the series, shortlisted for the 2009 Roald Dahl Funny Prize. For 7-11 year olds.

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Crocodiles Are The Best Animals Of All

Illustrated by Hannah Shaw

Published in 2009 by Frances Lincoln Children's Books

Their ears may wiggle and their teeth may be wonky, but nothing is better than being a donkey.  Is it true? There’s a crocodile who doesn’t agree.  A fun-filled, lively picture book for 3-5 year olds, shortlisted for the 2009 Roald Dahl Funny Prize.

“Bright humorous illustrations accompany a rich, rhyming text to make this a story that children will want to read over and over.  Picture book of the season.” ‘The Bookseller’

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The Bopping Big Band

Illustrated by Christyan Fox

Published in 2008 by Scholastic

What happens when some enormous animal musicians get so carried away that they fall through the stage? A lift the flap book with sound-chip for 0-3 year olds. They’re the biggest. They’re the coolest. They’re the be-bop-a-lool-est!

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The Great Snake - stories from the Amazon

Illustrated by Fernando Vilela

Published in 2008 by Frances Lincoln Children's Books

Nine traditional stories collected while travelling in the Amazon rainforest. Features extracts from the author’s travel journal and illustrations by acclaimed woodcut artist, Fernando Vilela. Awarded Highly Recommended status by Brazil’s National Foundation for Books for Young People. Chosen by the Brazilian government for free distribution to school libraries. For 7 years upwards.

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Mojo and Weeza and the New Hat

Illustrated by Julian Mosedale

Published in 2007 by Collins Big Cat

Funny monkeys, Mojo and Weeza, are back and looking cool. But for how long? A first reading book for 4-7 year olds.

When a Monster is Born

When a Monster is Born

Illustrated by Nick Sharratt

Published in 2006 by Orchard Books

Multi-award-winning picture book for 3-6 year olds which tells the story of a dangerous but loveable monster. Illustrated by Nick Sharratt.  Chosen as children’s book of the month by both Waterstones and Borders.  And now translated into eight different languages.

Purple Class and the Flying Spider

Purple Class and the Flying Spider

Illustrated by Helen Bate, cover illustration by Polly Dunbar

Published in 2006 by Frances Lincoln Children's Books

The second book in this series of comic classroom adventures featuring seven children from an urban primary school. For 7-11 year olds.

Purple Class and the Skelington

Purple Class and the Skelington

Illustrated by Helen Bate, cover illustration by Polly Dunbar

Published in 2006 by Frances Lincoln Children's Books

Four comic adventures, featuring seven children in an urban primary school. For 7-11 year olds.

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Like Father Like Son

Published in 2006 by Puffin

A collection of short stories about boys and their fathers for 10-12 year olds edited by Tony Bradman. Features Sean Taylor’s story “My Dad’s a Punk”.