I’ll have fish and chips please

A man went into a library. He walked up to the woman at the desk and said,
“I’ll have fish and chips, please!”
The woman whispered back, “This is a library!”
“Oh…I’m sorry,” said the man. Then he added, very quietly, “I’ll have fish and chips please.”

If you’d like to get hold of my books, you’ll find details of some of them below…

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Robomop

Illustrated by Edel Rodriguez

Published in 2013

Meet Robomop, a slightly dented but hardworking robot, who spends his days cleaning a public toilet in a basement. He longs to escape, see the world, feel the sunshine and fall in love. But Robomops can’t get up steps. A poignant, funny new picture book for 4-7 year olds…in which Robomop discovers that finding your place in the world means never giving up.
This one should hit the top of many bedtime stacks. Publishers Weekly
Offers up a happy ending that involves friendship, love, and, well, honky-tonk music. Booklist
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A Waste of Good Paper

Published in 2012 by Frances Lincoln Children's Books

Pete says this is a writing book that he’s only giving me. And it’s so I can write in it every day. But SORRY PETE there’s nothing I want to write.

A novel for teenagers. Jason loses it at school. He’s been in and out of care because his mum has a drugs problem. And now Jon is back, with his violence and sinister errands. A storyteller and a drummer are visiting Jason’s school. Last time they came, everything fell apart for him. If he tries to write a journal, is it going to be a waste of good paper?

A very funny yet moving novel. School Librarian

A moving, first person story that captures the frustrations and pent-up fury of a boy with a lot of problems…Jason’s journal portrays a journey from despair to hope for a better life ahead. Julia Eccleshare Lovereading4kids – May 2012 Featured Book of the Month

 

Nominated for the 2013 Carnegie Medal.

 

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Who Ate Auntie Auntie Iris?

Illustrated by Hannah Shaw

Published in 2012 by Frances Lincoln Children's Books

A picture book for 3-5 year olds which has been described as deliciously suspenseful. Where Auntie Iris lives, there are bears on the first floor, a crocodile on the second floor and wolves on the third floor. And one day Auntie Iris goes out…but doesn’t come back. So it’s up to a small, brave niece to find out what has happened to her.

Funny and silly with just the right amount of danger to make little ones squeal. The Bookseller

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The World Champion of Staying Awake

Illustrated by Jimmy Liao

Published in 2011 by Walker Books

A bedtime story for 3-5 year olds, magically illustrated by Jimmy Liao. Stella’s toys are very wide awake. So she has to use all the powers of her very special imagination to get them to sleep…

Pairing a witty narrative with rich illustrations, The World Champion of Staying Awake is destined to become a treasured bedtime classic. Seira Wilson, Amazon Best Books of the Month July 2011

This isn’t the first book to subvert conventions by giving a child the responsibility of ushering others to bed, but it’s easily one of the more lovingly executed and designed. Publishers Weekly

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Huck Runs Amuck!

Illustrated by Peter H. Reynolds

Published in 2011 by Dial Books for Young Readers

A pacy picture book adventure for 3-5 year olds, featuring Huck – the goat who’ll do anything to get a mouthful of flowers. Illustrated by best seller Peter H. Reynolds.

Hilarious, laugh-out-loud fun. Kirkus Reviews

The repeated exclamations are sure to have young readers joining in. Publishers Weekly

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The Grizzly Bear With the Frizzly Hair

Illustrated by Hannah Shaw

Published in 2011 by Frances Lincoln Children's Books

A funny, rhyming picture book for 3-5 year olds, with pictures by the illustrator of Crocodiles are the Best Animals of All! Will an itzy-bitzy rabbit end up as a tasty snack…or can he outwit the Grizzly Bear with the Frizzly Hair?

Like last year’s ‘Crocodiles are the Best Animals of All’ this is destined to become a read aloud favourite…Children will love the banter and laugh-out loud moments. The Bookseller

…children will howl with laughter and cheer at the end. School Library Journal

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Mary and the Twelve Months

Illustrated by Bee Willey

Published in 2010 by Heinemann

A captivating folktale retold as a first reading book for 5-7 year olds. Based on a  story told by the great Scottish traveller storyteller, Duncan Williamson. One day Mary’s stepmother sends her out into the woods and her life is changed forever.

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The Ring Went Zing! (a story that ends with a kiss)

Illustrated by Jill Barton

Published in 2010 by Dial Books for Young Readers

A zippy picture book for 3-5 year olds. It tells the (semi-autobiographical) tale of a frog who falls in love with a chicken. A madcap high-stakes chase follows…and a kiss.

A love story that’s long on charm and entirely free of mush. Publishers Weekly

A ring-a-ding winner. Kirkus Reviews

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Tickling Tigers

Illustrated by Jo Brown

Published in 2010 by Orchard Books

Tigers are big and tigers are scary.

Tigers are quick and tigers are hairy.

We climb, we growl, we jump, we chew…

and we’re terribly good at tickling too.

A lively picture book for 2-4 year olds, in which a tiger Dad gives three cubs some tips in the art of tickling.

A word of caution to any adult reading or sharing the book: be prepared to be very thoroughly tickled during and after… Cork Evening Herald

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The Purple Class Stories

Published in 2010 by BBC Audiobooks

All three books in the Purple Class series now available on one set of CD’s.

Genuine, laugh-out-loud short stories set in the modern multi-cultural classroom Achuka